Tuesday, August 31, 2010

sitting sidewalk, falling rain
the wind blows the trees and moving train
water swells, moves away - daybreak, again

2 comments:

  1. Jacob, this is beautiful. I really like it. I thought you were submitting lines from someone else's poetry when I first saw it. Delighted to hear that you wrote it. Your use of sibilance in the first line effectively foreshadows the arrival of the rain and the wind. Not a single mention of a human being in the three lines and yet the poem (for me) conjured up the idea of one person lost in the face of the unstoppable march of time - day following night following day following night, etc.

    It stands alone very well but may also work nicely as part of a larger piece. Any ideas?

    Simon

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  2. Wow, I didn't realise you wrote it either. Its beautiful.
    - Sunday

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