Attempted a rhyming couplet and ended up breaking the lines due to rhythm when said aloud. The result is a funny little poem I classified an 'Ode', partly inspired by a book called 'Odes to common household things' and partly inspired by my bed. Hope you like it, tell me what you think. -Sunday.
Sunday! It's a beautiful poem. I particularly like the repetition of sink (in its varied tense). The dying leaf works well as a simile - it's in a suspended state because of your poem. What I mean by that is that you have frozen its dying moment in time. It makes it all the more poignant.
Thanks Simon. The intended affect of the line "like a dying leaf" was to capture - or 'suspend' in time- the process of disintergration, (as you said). Also though to convey the image of "sinking" down and becoming one with other matter.
Attempted a rhyming couplet and ended up breaking the lines due to rhythm when said aloud. The result is a funny little poem I classified an 'Ode', partly inspired by a book called 'Odes to common household things' and partly inspired by my bed. Hope you like it, tell me what you think.
ReplyDelete-Sunday.
You wrote this? It's really great! I love it. :) The dying leaf simile is a bit confusing...but in a good way, i like it.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure who you are (?), but thankyou :)
ReplyDelete-Sunday
P.s. Whoever you are, have you never felt like a dying leaf before?
Sunday! It's a beautiful poem. I particularly like the repetition of sink (in its varied tense). The dying leaf works well as a simile - it's in a suspended state because of your poem. What I mean by that is that you have frozen its dying moment in time. It makes it all the more poignant.
ReplyDeleteI'm in a seminar right now. Gotta go
Simon
Thanks Simon. The intended affect of the line "like a dying leaf" was to capture - or 'suspend' in time- the process of disintergration, (as you said). Also though to convey the image of "sinking" down and becoming one with other matter.
ReplyDeleteBy Sunday
ReplyDelete